Knight-Digging, Enemy-Loving, and Abyss-Diving

by M. Joshua

Hey Kids, wanna dig for treasure with a Knight? Love Enemies as a French Grandpa? Jump into pits filled with Chilean Sea Monsters? You’re in the right place.

Dig With Me – Shovel Knight Review

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Pop opinion dictates that Shovel Knight is rad. And as much as I’d love to speak to the contrary, I can’t disagree. Though, I’d like to think I had at least a few original thoughts on the matter:

To put yourself in the minds of Shovel Knight’s creators, imagine you found a Craigslist ad that said, “DeLorean Time Machine: Free.” You showed up at a designated parking lot to make the “trade.” The Craigslister hands you the keys, says “good riddance.” Before you can think about it, you’re up to 88 mph and suddenly back in 1985. You ask yourself one simple question: how do I use my future-knowledge to improve the trajectory of videogames? Eventually you realize that none of your money works in 1985, videogames are actually much harder to make with an internet that doesn’t run any faster than 9.6kbps, and everything smells like Tom Selleck. Quickly realizing that 1985 sucks, you decide to take your Nintendo game idea back to our present day and get your funds from Kickstarter. And it works.

Read the Shovel Knight Review on Plus 10 Damage

Valiant Hearts: You Will Love Your Enemy (No Matter What)

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Valiant Hearts captures the tragedies and horrors of the Great War. But it also captures some of the silver linings. One of those is a small exchange between a French trench-digger and a German demolitionist.

I lived up to Jesus’ teaching about loving my enemies. Yes, it was in a World War I themed videogame called Valiant Hearts. Yes, my actions were scripted for me. But at least I did it, right?

I’m a French grandpa struggling through the chaos of the labyrinth underneath the trenches of World War I. Somebody’s crying for help.

Read ‘Valiant Hearts: You Will Love Your Enemy (No Matter What)’ on Gamechurch.

Smash Bros’ Tentacle Baby – Abyss Odyssey Review

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I really really like Abyss Odyssey. Describing it may require a descent into my squirmy-squishy weirdo-speak. You’ll be able to keep up if you like Smashing your Bros.

If you had a baby born with tentacles — and you were a good parent — you’d love her and make her feel at home. You would learn the best practices in tentacle care, and taunt gaping onlookers when they stare. Abyss Odyssey is that tentacle baby, and I hope you love her at least half as much as I do.

Read the Abyss Odyssey Review on Plus 10 Damage