Interesting Questions And Answer About Love - Dating & Relationships
Interesting Questions And Answer Between Lovers
Q. After a four-year relationship, my boyfriend says he loves me but he is not in love with me. I don’t want to abandon him because he is a wonderful person. The question is – do you think a man of 50 can have never been in love in his whole life? This is what he claims. Could he be confused about what love is? – Tracy (wife swapping)
A. The answer to both of your questions is yes, yes, yes. It’s a rare occurrence, but it’s not impossible. I am seeing a client at present who is 52 and he says the same thing. My fellow wants to change this though. Does yours? If he doesn’t, then you have to decide if this type of love is enough for you. I think we all need to get away from the idea that certain types of love are better than others. It’s all love!
Still, you have a right to live your dream and if you feel you’re getting second-best, the honest and fair thing is to break up with him and open yourself up to discovering the type of love you want. Whatever your guy’s troubles are, they are his and you can’t alternate him. I’d say it’s highly probable that he has an idealized view of love that prevents him from giving himself totally or it could simply be that what he feels for you is no longer the romantic sort of love.
You don’t say your age but if you’re also around 50, you might want to opt for security and companionship over passion and romance as a lot of people are now doing but that’s a decision only you can make. (kamsutramaster)
Q. My girlfriend moved out after 18 months of living together. We have had a very hard time I have to admit, generally due to the fact of our separate household situations. We both had children from previous marriages. However, I was willing to keep trying to make things work. Why did she have to leave and break my heart? I feel I can’t go on alone as I’m nearly 40 and felt this would be my last relationship. Please advise me. – Neil
Q. I’m very sorry for your sadness. No matter what I say to try and cheer you up, you need to go through this pain and the grieving process to heal for the future. So let me instead shed some light on the situation for you. Firstly, everyone is different and whilst you were prepared to battle on with the relationship, your girlfriend wasn’t. Perhaps she felt she’d tried long enough.
You’ve probably both been under tremendous strain. Step-parenting is one of the most difficult family circumstances to navigate, and it demands a significant amount of devotion of time, energy, patience etc. Try no longer to choose your lady friend if it simply obtained too challenging for her. Did she give you any warning she was leaving? Maybe there’s still a chance for the future but I suggest you seek advice as a couple before you live together again. Some organizations run specifically for step-parenting skills, for example.
In the meantime, do some work on yourself – be part of a group, examine private increase books, nurture yourself and don’t rely on something or all people else to make you better. It’s an adage but still true that time does heal if you let it do its work. Concentrate on the positive and stay friends with your ex-partner if you can as that will work in your favour no matter what you end up doing.
Q: I’ve been dating a guy for the past eight years. I assumed we’d come closer to marriage at first, but I now realise that was never his desire. After 7 years, I finally moved out and purchased my own home.
He’s just recognised that I’m the one for him, which is convenient. But I have been so disappointed over the years that I had given up when I moved out. I let him go into my new residence however after every other year, I nevertheless don’t choose to get married, or have intercourse or even kiss him. But I maintain 2nd guessing myself due to the fact now he is doing all the matters that I continually desired him to do. Is it regular to by no means get better after getting so fed up?
A: This could be what we call the ‘push-pull’ condition, which affects loving couples. But find it hard to commit. As soon as one pulls away, the other gets more interested and so on. I believe you gave your partner a more than adequate amount of time to make amends. mind and I applaud your decision to go it alone after 7 years.
Your guy might’ve honestly come to his senses after you left, realizing what he had lost. If that is the case, you could consider giving him another chance but emphasize that you will not tolerate any further procrastination. If he needs you this time, there will have to be a particular wedding ceremony date or comparable and you would have to let go of the past, forgive and open your coronary heart to him again.
However, my concern and yours is that he was simply reacting to your leaving with a knee-jerk reaction, wanting you back more for security than real love. You’re over him, and you shouldn’t have bothered with a re-run of the relationship, based on your inability to respond. I call this ‘learning lessons we already know.’ It is ‘normal to be unable to recover from a lengthy and hurtful relationship problem.
I believe you returned him for all the wrong reasons, and by keeping him in your house and prolonging the anguish for both of you, you are doing him no favours. Gather the fortitude to go on and let this specific connection fade into history. Gud Luck