What Should I Do if My Lover Ignores Me
What Should I Do if My Lover Ignores Me – I married my current husband nine years ago. We had discussed the matter of our inevitable breakup long before we got married.
Although I had thought he would never disrespect me the way he does after he got married, I never would have thought he would be so utterly committed to my submission and obedience.
On the surface, he is a loyal husband, but his treatment of me is very covert. The man he became when he married me never would have thought he would do so much for me.
He has listened to all my complaints and problems, whenever I have said “Can I go for a run? “Like any loving spouse, he motivates me to stay active, listen to music, meet with friends, and entertain friends with us.”
He is truly loyal and serious about my needs. He is my only living partner, so he is committed to me to the utmost degree. He doesn’t treat me as anything but his sex partner.
I watch him socialize and do not perceive that he is having a good time. The only time he ever begins to reciprocate my attention is when it is about the kids.
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If I had received those remarks in a relationship with a man I knew, I would be bitter and resentful. There is no shame in socializing with my friends, as long as it does not take time away from work.
The one thing he does not do is take time out of his day to spend quality time with me, even if I asked him to. There are times when I love him more than I love myself and find it difficult to believe he will not do something that feels like a loving gesture.
I did threaten divorce when I was pregnant, and I think it was probably the right thing to do. Now, we are engaged for nearly eight years, we have three children and a lovely relationship.
I tell him that he has to give me attention, and he cannot keep neglecting me. I have a good job, I am a career woman. I need my attention to fulfill myself.
I have discussed what my best friend has told me about what I should do when I realize I am being held back.
My current husband does not say a word about what he does at home when he cannot sit down with me.
For many years, I worked in a company that had a strict policy in which “everything was confidential”. The communication between the boss and the employee was strictly separated until it became a bit of a cliché.
Now, the boss and employee are very different, but the point I am trying to make is that you are not that rare, and so does your boss be so disdainful that he will make all work talks private?
The behavioral patterns your husband has caused me to develop towards him is very much an example to me. What happens when you are married to someone who goes against your instinct and tells you to leave your room as late as possible?
Is he that different in business from the rest of you?
Let me ask again, though you will not let me get too far away from the surface. He does not say one word about his other work life, but yet, he refuses to become my influence in all the things he does for me at home.
Some people are chained to work and love their job, but this guy has never been loyal to that. He tells me he is devoted to me as my sex partner, he pushes me to have fun, to spend time with friends, to find my hobby, to go for runs, meet with friends.
Sometimes I need validation. I love and respect him as a person, but I also need him to do something for me. He says that he can not do anything that leads me to my wellbeing, but he cannot wait half an hour to go to the bathroom to get “hot water washed”. He cannot wait an hour to the 7.30 pm slot to meet with friends for a drink, he cannot wait five minutes to tell me what I need to do.
I cannot stand up to him in front of my kids and leave them home alone. I am a disabled woman, he needs to understand how it affects me to spend my time with them. In essence, I have two options, one is to agree to stay and let him turn a blind eye to all my problems, or the other is to leave.
Can you tell me, should I leave?
The most important thing to me is that I take good care of myself. There is nothing for me to lose. I know he has a much bigger job than me, but my life is the highest priority. If he loves me, he will get quality time with me.
If he will not, how could I leave him?